April 28 Home Study completely finished

As I look to the last post almost a month ago, I can't beleive that it has taken a month to dot the i's and cross the t's on the home study and make the language suitable for the CCAA, Chinese authorities.

There have been a number of feverent phone calls between us, CCAI and AHA our home study social workers to button this part of the process up.

Since the last post on March 30, I have been to Washington DC twice. The first occassion was to the British Consulate, the same day as PM Tony Blair was in town. The British Consulate is in the same compound as the Embassy and is sited next door to the home of Vice President Dick Chaney.

Both Taney & I had spoken with Martine, a lovely scottish lady working at the consulate to help with the police clearance report from Scotland Yard in London. She with the direct help of the Consul provided three copies of my birth certificate and three copies of our marriage certificate as these were originated in the UK. The whole process took a two hour personal visit arriving at 8am in the morning, while I waited I sat and watched footage of Blair and Bush in Sedgefield, five months before, and before their meeting today together with the result of the Apprentice TV Program the night before that I was doing my best to avoid seeing at any cost.

My day started at 3am, where I drove to 30th Street Station to catch an Amtrak Train to DC that had started out in Boston at 9pm the previous evening. I don't take Amtrak very often, we have this love-hate relationship. I love taking trains, but hate Amtrak with a passion. To remind me why, you only have to board an overnight train at 5:30am to find bodies, blankets and pillows scatterd around the coach class carriages and little chance of a seat without a limb from the next seat not draped over your seat.

It seemed like entering a world of zombies. I hate Amtrack.

I arrived in Union Station DC around 7:30am. Union Station is one of the most beautiful stations I have ever travelled through, its walls simply evoke the romatic notion of rail travel. (Except at 5:30am).

After Martine had more than helped with the necessary papers, and the consulate charged a small fortune for the pleasure, I had to take one copy of the birth certificate and marriage certificate to the US State Department Authentication Office.

The Authentication Office is located in a small shopping plaza, one simply took a number, filled out a form and waitied for the stamps, and State Department letters to be added with the name Colin Powell added. This took no real time as I sat and watched MSNBC and live coverage of Blair arriving in Washington by plane.

These copies now needed to be taken to the consulate of the Peoples Republic of China for their authentication. Another taxi ride took me to a non-descript office building, no flags and the foyer being worked on by builders. One American asked me where I was going and I replied "PRC?" I was directed through a small door and told few doors down on your left. I passed All State Insurance office, ladies restroom, gents restroom and the next door was the PRC.

Organized chaos! I took a number and realized I was in for a long, long wait. So I sat and watched live coverage of Blair and Bush in the rose garden at the White House with no sound and chinese subtitles.

At 12:30 all four windows closed for lunch, and I was still some number away from my ticket. Eventually after two and a half hours my papers for authentication were taken and I was told to return the following Wednesday for a pick-up.

The best laid plans and all that, I failed at the last fence to get the papers authenticated before returning to Philadelphia. Feeling somewhat deflated i left to find a taxi to take me back to Union Station where I battled with the crowds for a seat back to Philly arriving back at 5pm.

Brother-in-law Chris offered to drive me to DC the following Wednesday for the pick up. It is a three hour car journey both ways and te wait at the PRC lasted about an hour. Nevertheless the papers were authenticated without questions and another part of our documenation complete.

Also completed since March 30, the first filing of the I600A, with the home study complete today the second filing of the I600A can also be made in the next few days. We now await an appointment for fingerprinting which given staff difficulties at the Philadelphia office may set our timetable back. But Taney has a plan to bump our file up the pile.

The final piece of the jigsaw completed in the last week by others are our doctors reports and accomponying letters. We are in the best of health.

Add to this that we have completed our Financial Report and our Petition, our letter to the Chinese officials to request our daughter for adoption is complete.

All of this could not have been possible without a number of people. First and foremost Taney for keeping tabs on absolutely everything, Hiliary and Andrea at CCAI for pushing our dossier along and getting the home study prepared for Chinese authorities, Martine at the UK Consulate for going above and beyond usual consulate help and Chris for the long drive to and from DC and my boss Terry for being very, very considerate in letting me have the personal time for my forrays to DC.

March 30, Home Study Completed.

A scant eight pages long, our home study is complete.

The process of the home study has not been the easiest of processes to personally work through. While I recognize that difficult questions need to be asked and answered, one thing I have discovered is that despite my outwardly open nature, there are some private parts of my life that I would prefer to keep just that, which I have had to address during this process.

Our Home Study process was concluded over six hours of meetings including one three hour meeting at our home.

We now move on with the process, as we have received our dossier from CCAI our agency in Colorado who are really good and working things through with us. It is truly a paper chase now that includes a trip to the British Embassy in Washington DC the week after Easter.

March 21, Spring.

I have some interesting stories to recount since the last posting.

Both Taney & I have completed the medical reports that we need for our home study. Dr Goisse our new physician, left a note with letter needed to wish us every success in our adoption journey.

CCAI our agency contacted us in the last few days to remind us to return some papers that needed to be notarized. The local bank in the town that we opened our adoption account had a notary who we saw yesterday. Normally their is a fee for this service, but as we have discovered many times already people are only too willing to offer help freely with a smile when they realize they are part of our adoption journey.

Yesterday, the first day of Spring, Taney & I took time-out to enjoy our adoption journey, and visited a couple of new baby stores located in King of Prussia PA and Broomall PA and yes we did a little shopping that we simply could not resist!
The store in King of Prussia was very posh, and somewhat unique in the quality of the baby cribs, bedding and decor that we could only dream about affording. It was all beautiful, one of the crib sets had little doznes of sleeping rabbits in different postures on them in a style I can best describe as 1940-1950 ink drawings. We did make a purchase, a musical mobile that is quite simply beautiful and not much more than one that Baby's are Us might have charged - but far better.

The second store was on a light industrial park, "Baby Supermarket" and we throughly recommend those in the Philly area to visit. We are still looking at cribs and changing tables and this gave a great alternative to the Baby's are Us selection with a better build quality and selection.

We also made a couple of purchases, a "Life Book" that had special pages for adoption. We had been looking for this for a very long time as many Baby books are inappropriate as they focus on the record keeper being the birth mother. We found a great bag that fits on the back of our new McLaren stroller, made by McLaren and also given a little toy free for just showing up. It was a pleasure to visit a baby store that was outwardly adoption friendly.

Next Monday we have our third meeting with our home study agency in AHA in West Chester PA. The meeting on March 3 at our home lasted three hours. We answered many questions together, took Sherie our Home Study Social Worker on a tour of the house, and then she wanted to ask questions of us individually. The process and the questions were one might describe very intrusive into our personal lives, and the time we were children, but they are necessary. In general both Taney & I are very private people, it is necessary however for Sherie to ask questions that may be difficult as this is what she must do and that we had to answer them for the sake of our daughter. Preparing the house fo the home study in March was looking back on the process hilarious. The degree of cleaning and babyproofing the house was insane even by the standards of the home study. But now we look back, pleased that this part of the process is complete and move on.

February 29, Home Study just days away.

A couple of things happened this week, the police clearance reports returned from Harrisburg on Friday and we are thrilled at the speed of the turnaround.

With our home study just days away, and that yesterday was a wonderful spring day, we threw open windows, got that first rush of fresh air in the house and spruced the house as part of an early spring clean.

A trip to Home Depot we also purchased a number of childproof items for the kitchen and for the nursery. The nursery currently yellow, soon to be painted fairytale pink, now has every electrical outlet baby-proofed. Indeed everyroom has been babyproofed as best we can over the weekend. Including new catches on the cleaning fluids kept under the sink. We also bought new smoke detectors and have working smoke detectors on all three levels of our home.

Moving in the right direction.

Since our home study part one, we have been quietly working through some of the paperwork and some other "fun" stuff as we continue to move in the right direction.

Our three cats (Jaffa, Truffles and Kiki) have all been taken to the vet to bring their shots up to date.

A trip to Home Depot was on the list last weekend as we headed to pick out a paint color for the nursery. Long gone are the days of pre-made paint colors, today it is mixed by computer. What color is our nursery to be, - well as we are only going to to this once, we selected a Disney color, Fairtale Pink.

While baby sitting for Glenn, Tommy and Siobhan on Monday, we both sat and completed our Police Check and Department of Child Welfare forms that were sent to Harrisburg PA on Friday. We were both required to complete a form each, total four forms and needed to submit a money order for each. When Taney went to arrange this, the kind lady processing the request on hearing that the money orders were for our adoption waived the processing fee. Glenn who is interested in word puzzles now was very interested in the government word puzzles we were completing, as the grids to enter phone numbers and such looked like something he could play with.

When I arrived home on Friday, I found a giant panda in our family room. As part of a major sale at the foodstore this afternoon Taney picked up a panda for $3, bearly (no-pun intended) a tenth of the full cost. Who could say no. We have named this panda, Laura, the other panda we have in the house at christmas we called G.W.

Finally, this week, and after I had posted this entry, Taney and I have been asked by our home study social worker to answer a number of questions in writing before meeting with her for Home study - part 2, tour of our home. I thought as a matter of record I would list the questions for your information.

1. What are your feelings about adoption? What are the feelings of your extended family?

2. Is non applicable as this is an international adoption.

3. What are your goals and expectations (educationally or otherwise) for your child?

4. In what ways will you handle the situation if you child has emotinal problems, learning problems, physical problems?

5. What causes stress in your life and how do you handle stress?

6. What was the greatest dissapointment in my life? What were your short-term and long-term reactions and responses to this dissapointment?

7. Name your strengths and weaknesses?

8. Explain how you manage you anger?

9. In what manner do you and your significant other resolve conflicts?

10. Under what circumstances would you consider counseling for yourself, your marriage, or your child?

11. Have you ever been abused physically or emotionally? Explain.

12. Describe any history of addiction in your family.


I am sure you will agree these are probing questions. Now I am off to answer them.

Home study - Part 1.

This morning Taney & I met with Sheri at our Home Study Agency, licensed to conduct homestudies in the state of Pennsylvania.

The meeting lasted a little under two hours and we were both questioned on questions we expected and other we were not. In conclusion it was a good meeting and we have a new pile of papers to pull together for the home study, and a target date for Home Study - Part 2, at our home on March 3.

Where are all the Dads on APC?

The following is a posting added to the Yahoo Adopting Parents from China APC boards tonight and also to my London Chimes blog page.

The subject is where are the Dad's who are adopting from China and why do the rarely chime in on the subject matter posted on APC.

This is my tonge in cheek response.




Good evening to Kurt and all the guys on APC who lurk quietly and read these posts.

The question has been raised "Where R the Dads?" in the APC and similar message boards. As one of the above "lurkers" and occassional (very occassional) contributors, I have decided to chime in on this topic.

My dear wife (DW) Taney is a frequent contributor to APC and established my access to APC and Paperchase groups. Both I have to add are excellent, testiment to the great people who are at one stage or another in the process of bringing a member of their family home.

As thrilled as I am to be a Dad-to-be, my personal email account is deluged each day with the many emails on great topics. I would like to say that I have the time to read them all, but hey-you-know, the small matter of working hours and commuting actually prevents me from reading more than a handful of topics that grab my attention or have my attention grabbed by DW telling me of the latest must-read, must respond subject in the evenings.

Kurt, in your original email you wrote:

While walking back to the office from the post office yesterday afternoon, I passed one of our many shops that sells kids clothes and things. From window shopping, to stopping in the doorway and finally asking the big question, "Do you sell baby clothes?" I found myself being ushered by the owner to a corner of the shop. 50% Off All Clearance Items. Wow, nirvana. Paydirt, The holy grail. Geez, I'm in this shop with a bunch of women, and here I am kneeling down to pull out some small dresses - Hawaiian print (having lived in the islands for more than six years, I prefer the spirit of Aloha) - and then the owner begins firing off a bunch of questions, with the first being, "What size is she?" "I have no idea," and feeling a bit stupid over that answer I clarified that we were adopting out of China. That's when the conversation got heated!

DW and I are in the paperchasing stage we expect to be DTC in June or July 2004, and have our first homestudy meeting next week on Friday the 13th. Yet in the lead-up to the holiday season last year we were prompted by family members to register for gifts that we would need eventually.

As a Brit married to an American, the whole concept of registering for anything is to put it mildly an alien experience. I may have well as been a Mars Rover walking for the first time into Baby's R Us and being handed that gun thing. Good-grief, couldn't they have given me a pad and pen? But this is all computerized and as many readers on APC will know Baby's R Us are slowly being dragged into an adoption-friendly age. Again thanks to APC we were warned in advance that registering with them more than nine months ahead threw their computer into error mode. Resulting in me facing off with the store manager and accusing the company of discrimination. (I totally digress).

My first visit to Baby's R Us with Taney was like landing on Mars. "Do we really need most of this stuff?" And confronted with a wall of bottles, liners and other feeding related implements I asked the dumb question, "how do we know which ones to register for?" If there is one thing I have learned is that I have much to learn!

Half-way through our four-hour visit to register in Baby's R Us we "arrived" in the area for car-seats and strollers. Safe-ground I thought. - Wrong! Even the simplest strollers I could not fathom how to collapse and reading the small print on the sizes and weights for each car seat simply made me dizzy. DW and I agreed that if we could not work out how to unfold / fold a stroller in thirty seconds, then we would find a different model that would meet our needs.
As if I was not brain-fazed enough, we drove to our local Zaney Brainy and registered for the other stuff we could not find in Baby's R Us.

Christmas Day was great, we ended up with the stroller we wanted (McLaren Triumph - its made in the UK), the Eddie Bower car seat we selected, and a ton of other smaller items including bedding. My birthday was last week, add to the list the high-chair, bottles, liners and a Baby Einstein musical toy.

Before the guys reading this think I am a complete woose, hey I also got a bottle of liquor from one of my sister-in-laws.

To be serious for a moment, bringing my daughter home is the single most important thing in my life today, even with the daily distractions of my family, my work and my friends. Originally I was the reluctant spouce, not so much avoiding the subject of adoption, but unable to commit to the concept of adopting. That was about a year ago. My taking the time to sit and read and understand as much as possible about adopting helped me catch up with my wife on the subject and fully commit to this.

Heading off to the baby stores is not as an alien experience that it once was, (but I have yet to walk in alone) so who knows. Its all that other stuff sitting on our registry that confuses the heck out of me. I guess we need it all, and more besides.

The whole adoption journey is a real adventure for me, at least that is how I see it, and to be honest how I approach life in general, as an adventure. I enjoy the opportunity of taking the road-less-travelled, and if my path takes me from Britain to America to find my wife and to China to find my daughter then it is to be.

Another contributor to APC recently mentioned if there are any adoption bloggers out there. Please visit www.theredthread.blogspot.com which I have set up to record the Friend Family adoption story.

I thank you for the opportunity to write this posting this evening, and wish everyone a great weekend.

Malcolm (41)
DW - Taney (29.5)
Pennsylvania
Paperchasing.
DTC expected June/July 2004.